The myth that “when it’s not complicated, it’s not good” can be misleading and harmful. It suggests that complexity is necessary for success or satisfaction and that simplicity is inferior or inadequate.
However, this is only sometimes the case.
Sometimes the most straightforward solutions or experiences can be meaningful and fulfilling.
, “complex can often lead to confusion, stress, dissatisfaction” - spot-on comment from a boy who was arguing with his mum.
No, I was not eavesdropping; both mum and son (looks like 16) were on a full-on exchange.
Mum was insisting on something “to be complex to be good”. These individuals do have good hearts, and they both have good intentions, but apart from the generational gap, there are a couple of factors that people like me (forced to be their audience) can learn:
1. Communication breakdown - lack of shared interests and conflicting values.
2. Personality differences – an introverted child may struggle to connect with an extroverted parent, and a highly emotional child may find it hard to relate to a more reserved parent.
3. Trauma or past conflict - children who may have felt mistreated or neglected in their early years. They may struggle to trust their parents in later life. Likewise, parents who have experienced harsh judgments in their early years may carry the same stigma and unknowingly bleed through their children.
4. External factors - day-to-day schedules and routines may impact the quality of time parents spend with their children or vice versa.
Hhhhmmm, why am I hearing this?
This train ride home has led me back home.
Back to my childhood.
Back to my old self.
And I truly appreciated these two pure souls for opening my eyes to the reality that although my parents came with their imperfections, they have my best interest and good intentions.
Thank you, boy, for making me hear hope.
Because, yes, beauty comes in the simplest things.
Parents, let's all heal so our children don’t need to recover from their childhood.
Intergenerational trauma ends with us.
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