“I know that I have pushed him too far”.
“Our fight, many years ago, was the last straw”.
“If my spouse would only change then we could be happy”.
Do those statements above hit close to home?
- 💥 -
This week, I have been fortunate to work with a couple who are equally eloquent and very capable. They both possess beautiful individual characteristics but over the years they both had grown apart, I mean their marriage. They both have transmuted the affectionate part of their relationship for a different level of partnership.
Both were honest and loyal to each other though, they both were brutally honest which I have guessed was the only thing that kept them together. “I can’t trust anyone just as I trusted her”, says him.
Most of the time, they both were lonely for each other’s companionship. But whenever they both were home, they can’t help but pester each other. They both wanted to change, but how? “It’s has been 25 years”, says her.
- - - Is there still hope for these two ❓
Of course, there is❗️
I’d say, “For as long as there are butterflies and bees, there will always be hope for the flowers”.
🦋 🌺 🐝
Today, my heart leapt and tears of joy flowed like droplets of rain. It’s heartwarming to witness how the couple has restored their barren toxic appearing like relationship just in a matter of days, 4 days to be exact.
Their silent treatment, dishonouring words to each other, and manipulative behaviour are now replaced by gentle touches, silent whispers of endearment, and cooperative – actually more like consultative sounding gestures of love. There are lots of teasing stares and silent giggles – I could literally watch them all day while thanking the source of love, the power of love.
The then dissatisfied woman has now turned into a soft soul who has embraced her utmost femininity.
The then career-focused, cynical man, has now turned into a passionate, confident yet protective alpha male.
So, your question for sure would be:
What did I do?
How did I manage to keep these two glued back on together?
Was it a difficult process?
Has it been tough for him and or her?
- - - - I’d say: 🙋♀️
It was challenging but of course, it was doable!
I did what a typical therapist would have done plus the deliberate intent of having them understand that I am advocating for them both; that I have got their interest in mind , both their interests; I dived deeper into their individual stories; journeyed with them towards their desired outcome; maintained my gaze at the end goal; and now I am celebrating with them!
Because at the end of the day, for marriage to work, we have to remind ourselves that two alpha males (referring to personality types) don’t work.
For an affectionate relationship to work, we need to have some iron (Fe) in our marriages.
Male + (Fe) Male = ✅
Alpha Male + Alpha (Fe) Male = ✅
Because 100 + 100 = 200 ➗ 2 = 💯.
- - - - Got it?
Need help?
Just Dial-RED.
R - each out, take my hand.
E - xpress youself, share with me your story.
D - rop me a message, let’s chat.
So, what are you waiting for?
Remember, help is available for those who ask for help 🆘
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