Instead of wondering what people think of you, consider what you think of them.
When you meet someone new, or even when you spend time with someone you already know well, what’s your focus?
Do you find yourself wondering what they think of you?
Worrying about how they’re interpreting your words, your movements, and your general being?
Do you spend hours after meeting someone new agonizing over whether or not you made a good impression?
You’re not the only one. We are social animals and crave social connections. We desire the feeling of being liked and wanted.
Plus on top of that, those of us whose thoughts about ourselves have been affected by some kind of trauma is even more likely to try to be liked, to fit in, and to shape ourselves into what we think other people want us to be.
Although this makes us feel safer because it takes the vulnerability out of social encounters and relationships. However, it also keeps us low.
It stops us from expressing our true selves and from feeling comfortable with who we are.
And ultimately, it actually holds us back from having truly meaningful, deep, supportive relationships - because we’re always hiding parts of ourselves and trying to be someone we’re not.
So, tell me how are you doing in your social engagements? How are flowing yourself in your encounters? How are you feeling after the meet-ups?
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I am now heading off to Rome, as I am looking back on my engagements here in London, one thing that stood out was peoples’ comments saying “Nowena, you are raw. You are so you.”
WOW!
I truly have learned so much about myself by understanding others.
I truly have learned that despite our tendency to camouflage and blend with the crowd to feel safe and be accepted, people do really appreciate people who come weirdly and wickedly as they are.
From a person who has lived most of her life being sanguine, people pleasing; I now feel good about myself for those years when I have decided to drop the “clowning, faking, projecting, and efforting”.
I now thank PTSD for having shown me that:
1. When the outside world is in chaos, the only way out is in.
2. A life in a state of overflow, from the inside out, is the only way to flow through.
3. There’s no us when there’s no U.
Have a great Sunday, everyone 🦋
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